


In the Woods somewhere

by sweetmahira



Category: Far Cry (Video Games), Far Cry 5
Genre: Angst, Blood and Torture, Canon-Typical Violence, Eden's Gate, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Fluff and Angst, I Don't Even Know, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Kidnapping, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Psychological Torture, Public Nudity, Slow Burn, Starvation, Swearing, Tags May Change, What Have I Done, nudity as torture, shaving as torture
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-11-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 10:48:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 17,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24848545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetmahira/pseuds/sweetmahira
Summary: Takes place right after Alex got shot by Jacob and is captured by Eden's Gate. How will he adjust to all of this?A fic resulted from 2am boredom, more chapters will be added soon!Ps. (this is my first fic so pls be kind 2 me haha)Oh, and my English isn't thaaat good, so I'm already sorry for misspelling - I warned you guys :D
Relationships: Alex/Jacob Seed
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

The first days of his captivity were a living nightmare for Alex. That man – he heard someone calling him 'Jacob' – had knocked him out right before they left the forest. A nice punch with a shotgun against his head. His last blurry memory: He was manhandled in the back of a car with dark windows - parked at the side of a dusty pathway. Then everything went black.

Eventually he woke up in here. A fucking cage in the goddamn open. He couldn't even stand up properly. His head bammed against the bars above him every time he tried it. It was annoying. But more than that the fact that they put him in here - He wasn't scared - It frightened the hell out of him. How could civilized people do something like that to each other? Alex underestimated this cultists. How far they would go to get what they want. Sure he was in serious and quite dangerous situations before, but something like this wasn't even possible in his dreams. Hannah got them out every single time before. And now even her – the smart girl of their adventure group – got captured and he didn't even know where the hell Eden's Gate carried her off to. 

He was all alone in this damn cage in some inner courtyard. Right before that huge run-down building. The whole place was surrounded by walls. They seemed even bigger on the inside of the cage. There was only one place for escape – The front gate. But it seemed always shut and always protected by armed guards. Heavily armed guards - Eden's Gate people. They were everywhere. The whole place looked like some kind of training ground. If the people didn't wear these dumb Symbols on their sweatshirts, he would have thought of them as soldiers training in the army. 

There were more cages next his own. Some of them were simply empty. But the ones that weren't let his blood run cold. There were wolves. Seemingly hungry wolves, that growled at him and reminded him of not getting too close to the bars behind him. He was hungry too and even more thirsty. His throat was so dry, but he couldn't even afford gulping down some salvia. And the headaches – Oh, the goddamn headaches. 

At night it was really quiet. Almost peaceful, he could say. But he couldn't afford to get some sleep on the dusty, dirty ground. His stomach hurt too much to bare. Most of the time he layed down on the ground and put his legs to his chest – Afraid that the wild animals next to him would catch his shoes. Or even more than that. 

In the mornings he learned that the day in this compound always begun with this loud and high-pitched alarm. After that the routines started. Alex counted two and a half days he was captured here and every morning the same small group of cultists would come to the cages with water and something that looked like meat. But they never come for him but for the wolves. No matter how loud Alex shouted at them or throwed insults at them – It was no use. Their usual reaction was only some grunting and grumbling among themselves. They've always called him 'that damn sinner' behind held hands. 

On the third day something was different. This time they didn't come and the wolves were left hungry. Instead someone else showed up. Someone he didn't wish to see at all. The redhead, who was responsible for his bittersweet headaches and even more - because of him his leg now looked like a fucking bloody swiss cheese. 

Jacob. 

Alex' heart beat faster in the moment the man stopped in front of the cage. Staring at him. There was a look in his eyes he couldn't quite read through. And that bothered him. Alex sat up and tried his best to look not that intimidated as he was. But the cage didn't quite help with that. 

„You look like shit. Good. Serves you right“, Jacob said mildly and crossed his arms before his chest.

The guy still wore the same green camo Parka like the last time they've met and dark pants. Almost immediately Alex registered the holster straps on the belt for his hunting knife and some handgun. Alex wasn't familiar with guns - shit - almost no weapons, but the stabbing pain in his leg kept reminding him to stay on guard, when this guy would show up.

„I swear-“, Alex tried everything to keep his weak and raspy voice steady, „If I ever get out of this thing I'm fucking suing you, asshole, you hear me? I have rights.“

This earned him nothing but a small smile from the other man. Like he just made a nice joke. But Alex was dead serious. His anger tingled him in his shaking fists. Oh how he wished to punch this fucker in the face right now. 

„Sueing me? To me you look like you want to punch me instead“, the redhead came closer to the bars, his smile suddenly gone, „Careful with that look, kiddo“

A cold and deadserious stare followed after that. Like Jacob could tear him apart just with his eyes. It became more and more exhausting to look at the man in front of him, but Alex refused to give up so fast. His pride was at stake. For a moment they were just glaring each other. Pressured silence. 

„Or what? You will put me in a cage? Starve me? I never endured something more horrible in my life, so how much worse can it even get? If you creeps wanted me dead, you would've shot me in the fucking head and not in the leg, motherfucker“

„I can't kill you, that's the will of the Father. But don't be a fool and think this does any good for you. As long as you breathe, eat, and shit inside of these four walls here, you have to follow my rules. And you know what? On these grounds death means salvation. And you won't get that salvation. Instead I can make you suffer. And, oh, you will suffer, if you keep bragging like that like that. So go ahead and try it, boy. If you bite me, I'm gonna rip you apart. You understand?“

Cold chills crept slowly up Alex' spine. The redheads glare had gotten even more intense, that now it was difficult to catch his breath again.

„You understand?“, this time more urgent.

Alex didn't know better than to simply nod. He was shaking. 

„Say it. Can't hear you“

Alex licked his lips „I understand“

„Good. You'll see, if you just do what yer told, it'll get a lot more comfortable in here. The sooner you understand that the better for you. It don't have to be like this. You hungry?“

„Yeah“

Relief spread across Alex' face as the other man took the key out of the pocket of his parka and started to unlock the door. Silently growning Alex climbed out of the cage and never felt more alive as he stretched out his hurt back. But his still injuried and maybe infected leg pulsed alarming against his jeans. 

„I take you inside to grab some breakfast if you do one little thing for me“, Jacob said and had this dangerous look in his eyes.

Alex hated himself for being so damn naive. It was obvious that he wasn't done with his lecturing. He feared what would come next. So much that he considered climbing back in that filthy cage again.

Jacob took something else out of his pocket and this time it seemed horribly familiar to Alex. It was his beloved camera. They've gotten it after they captured them the first time at the river. He handed the camera out to his owner. Alex held it with shaky hands. Wondered if it had gotten heavier than before or if his muscles already gave out. He was at the verse of crying. Because he exactly knew what awaited him in the next moment. 

„Destroy it“

Nevertheless he stared at Jacob in helpless missunderstanding. But the man showed no mercy. His eyes were cold, when he repeated his command. 

„Destroy it, you hear me?“

Seconds over seconds passed. It felt like an cruel eternity for Alex. But finally-

He tossed it on the ground. Then he crushed it with his foot. Squeesed it with all of his strength he had left until he heard the glass of the lense break. Crushing it further and further. He realised that he was crying as a sob escaped his throat. He stopped. 

Jacob seemed satisfied. But more with himself than with Alex. 

„You did well, kiddo. Let's have some nice breakfast“

And with that he leads him into the building.


	2. Regret

Several moments later Alex finds himself seated infront of a tray with something on it that looked like minced meat with potatoes. But it definitely didn't smell like that. The glass of water next to the tray was already empty. The cool liquid felt like heaven on earth as it had run down his throat. But clearly he wasn't even close of quenching his thirst. 

Jacob was long gone, nowhere to be seen in this big canteen, where many other cultists sat in groups together and ate without questioning the food like he did. 

But it wasn't that kind of a big deal to him, at this state of starvation he was in, he would just eat everything that appeared in front of him. Everything. So he gulped the food down as fast as he could. He even forgot to chew properly.

Soon after the tray was finished and his stomach made unpleasant sounds. It wasn't prepared of so much food after days and days of hurtful emptiness. He nearly felt even more sick than before. 

And now he just sat there alone felt unsure what to do next. Should he just wait here or stand up and search after Jacob? He didn't know. 

His eyes still burned from exhaustion. He just cried infront of another man, what the hell... This thought just didn't want to go away and annoyed the fuck out of him. He never cried in front of others. Not even in front of Hannah or Sara. It made him feel uneasy.

The throbbing pain in his leg distracted him from his thoughts. The bullet wound. It was already stitched and treated properly but it still hurt like shit. This was the first time in his life he got shot. And that was something he definitely wasn't keen on. 

The canteen got emptier. Breakfasttime was over. Not long after Jacob appeared again and walked over to Alex. He gave him a quick wave.

„Come on“

Alex followed him wordlessy out of the building. Soon he knew where they were heading. A bitter feeling spread in his stomach. But not because of the food. He had led him right back to the cages.

„What's with that look? You should've known, so go ahead“

Alex didn't answer but didn't move either. He just stares blankly in the open cage. 

„Please don't“, he whispered.

„Don't what?“

„Don't make me go in there again. I can't-“

Jacob stepped closer. His aura was dangerous and threatening.

„Then you shouldn't have killed my men. Actions have consequences, always keep that in mind“

Alex met his gaze and suddenly struggled with his breath. The redhead smiled and came even closer, so that he could whisper in his ear.

„And remember what I've said. Things here can get well for you – Or even worse. Just do what is said to you and everything will be fine“

Chills crept up his neck, so Alex quickly stepped back. His expression puzzled and fearful. And with that he slowly walked to the open cage. Head down in defeat.

„You gonna cry again, kiddo?“

Alex' head swung back and before he could even consider what he was about to do -

He punched Jacob in his face. 

It was that one surprise move from Alex, that knocked the redhead over, but quickly after he collected himself and pushed him hard against the bars. Jacob was furious. Fresh blood ran out of his nose. 

His face was close to his as he growled: „Oh, you will regret that one, I'll make sure of that. I won't kill you but soon you'll fucking wish you were“

Then he took him by the hair and pushed his head into the bars. Over and over again. A unimaginable wave of pain overcame Alex. He didn't even notice as the beating was finally over. He could only hear his own heavy breathing and feel his weak grip against the bars as his clothes are taken from him and left him shivering in the cold. His body was too exhausted, too traumatised to move.

Something warm ran down over his closed eyes and then his face, his chin. His forehead pulsated in extreme pain. Soon after he passed out. 

The next time he opened his eyes again it was nighttime. Although everything around him was dark, he still knew were he was. Back in his cage. Lying on the ground. The first thing he noticed was the immense pain from his forehead. Like the heaviest headache he ever had. But the reason he awoke wasn't the pain, it was the shivering on his whole body. He formed himself into a small ball on the ground, but it was no use. He was stark-naked somewhere outside in the mountains, maybe he would froze here to death. A great relief was that they apparently didn't do anything else besides from taking his clothes. 

But besides that not much dignity was left in him. Beaten, caged and with the loss of his clothes he felt small and not really like a human being anymore, not at all. More like an animal, like these poor creatures in the other cages next to his own, that just wouldn't stop growling at him. 

Maybe that was what Jacob wanted. That Alex realised that he belonged not himself anymore but someone else. Eden's Gate. He won. Jacob had won. He couldn't stop the sobs any longer that wanted to escape from his throat. There was no hope, no strength left in him. He felt hurt and broken. And so fucking alone. He just wanted the pain to stop and being wrapped in a warm blanket. He couldn't do, couldn't bare this any longer. But no one would come for him. He already knew that. 

He couldn't even cry himself to sleep. He just layed there shivering on the ground, instantly hoping not to die and waited for the sun to finally rise. After endless hours of waiting the new day begun and the morning-alarm awakened every soul on the whole place. So he survived the night. That was something. But that didn't bring Alex any salvation, he only frightened what was coming next. 

The group of cultists that fed the wolves grinned and laughed at him as they passed by. Alex was glad as they were finally gone. But it didn't take long until two guards appeared in front of his cage. They hauled him wordlessy out of the cage and pushed him further over the courtyard. Alex tried his best to hide his member behind his hands and not to trip with his wounded leg. Everything hurt, especially his forehead, as he was led to the building. The cultists that came by responded all the same to his appearance – the men laughed at him and the women blushed and looked ashamed away. This walk of shame felt like an eternity, so he was never more happy in his life to reach the building and hiding behind walls. 

The guard led him down the stairs in the basement. After a long walk through the corridors, they pushed him into an empty, tiled room with only a chair in it. A single lightbulb hang above it. One guard manhandled him into the chair and cuffed his hands behind his back. He gripped him by his shoulders so he couldn't get away. The other guard stood on front of him and took out a knife. The man laughed as Alex flinched and struggled against the grip of the guard behind him. His heart was racing uncontrollably. His expression blank in fear. The guard put the knife at the edge of his hairline, right above his throbbing wound on his forehead – And started to cut off his hair. Thereby Alex got several small cuts and scratches of the blade over and over again, because of the unmerciful doing of the guard. He ended up with his proud beard gone and a completly bald head. He stared in the reflection of himself in the tiles. Exept he didn't look like himself at all. Not anymore. He stopped struggling and closed his exhausted eyes for a moment. He felt being uncuffed again and they began to haul him out of the room. 

They went all the way back to the cages. This time Alex didn't care to hide himself and just looked on the ground as they passed the other cultists. But he still felt their judgmental eyes on him. He was just too exhausted. Too fucking exhausted. As soon as they arrive the guards lock him in again, without bothering to speak a single word to him. He was still shivering in this fresh october breeze. He was sure that he wouldn't survive another night out in the cold. But the hours passed and passed. The warming sun would soon dissappear behind the mountains. 

He was surprised to see him so soon. Jacob made his way to the cages right after sunset. It was still not completly dark outside. Traces of orange and pink colored the clouds above them. 

Jacobs expression was calm and collected. Unlike yesterday after Alex punshed him in the face. It still made him a little proud that he had made him bleed. But the regret in him was stronger. It overwhelmed him.

„Huh. Almost didn't recognize you“, the redhead said mockingly.

Alex ignored him and simply looked away. Trying to blend him out.

„So you about to ignore me now? Where'd gone all that boldness of yesterday?“

He smiles and crouched down on his level. 

„How do you feel? Can't be that good without any pants on, am I right? Looks like you pretty freezing ya ass off out here. Poor boy. You still think you were right of punching me?“

Alex shook his head slowly. 

„And what do we say when we're sorry?“

He looked up to the redhead, hoping he was joking. But he wasn't joking, his expression was stern and expecting. He was waiting for him to answer. 

„Come on, say it“

And he better answered now.

„I'm sorry. I won't do it again, I swear“, Alex whispered weakly. Almost too quiet to hear. He just wanted this nightmare to be over.

„You better will“, there was an alarming threat in his voice, „And you better won't test my patience again. Next time I won't be that gentle with you, kiddo – Puppy protection is over now“

With that he stood up and unlocked the door. With a quick move with his head he assigned Alex to come outside. He did.


	3. Knife

„Your life – The life you had known - Had ended right after the moment you and yer little friends stepped into the sermon last week. Call it fate if you want to. Call it bad luck. Call it whatever you want. Now yer here and that means you have to follow our rules. Eden's Gate only has one important rule. Only one, you hear me?“

Jacob stood in front of him, his arms crossed over his chest. Eyes inspecting Alex' unstable and shivering form. Then he continued speaking.

„Obey. That is all I expect from you. From everyone in this place. Simply obeying. Not that hard at all, huh? You think you can do that?“

Alex nodded quickly. But as he looked in the other mans face he knew immediately that he expected a more verbal answer from him. So he opened his mouth to speak.

„Yes“

Jacob seemed satified and patted him on the shoulder. 

„Alright. Then let's see if we can find something to cover up that bony ass. You look pathetic“

The pressure from the hand on his shoulder got more intense. He wanted Alex to move. And so he did. They headed to the building. It was far more darker outside then a few minutes before. In some of the rooms were switched on the lights. It looked warm and far more welcoming than the cage. 

He was even allowed to wash himself in the communal showers. His last shower felt like an eternity back. He couldn't even rememder the last time he showered. Everything before the captivity seemed so far away now. Like a beautiful dream he once had. Mud and blood from his body colored the water to his feet in a disgusting brown tone. The water was almost cold but calmed him down. Yeah, he felt almost tranquil right now. Things would get better for him. This shower was the proof of that. As he finished he took one of the towels that were stacked on a shelf in the corner. He dried himself and wrapped it around his waist. Then he went outside where two guards waited for him. Jacob hat ordered them to look after him as long as he was gone. Alex remembered them from before. The one that had cut his hair. And the one that had injuried his shoulders while he was doing it. All calmness from before was now gone. 

„Got lucky, what, asshole?“, the first one kidded with a sly smile, „How is it going on the other side of the cage?“

Alex glared at him, but said nothing. 

„What's with you? The big man cut out ya tongue, or what?“, the other man asked provocative.

„Maybe he slammed his head one time too much against the cage, haha“

They both laughed.

„Tell me Baldy, what did you have to do for him to get out? Not so shy you can tell us. We're so good friends, don't we?“

Alex had enough, anger boiled already inside him. His fists angrily closed. 

„Mind your own fucking business, assholes“

That didn't go well. And it got even worse. 

„What the fuck did ya say?“

One of them fetched out his revolver and pointed it at him. Alex just stood there, rooted, unable to move. He stared at the revolver right before his face. For a moment nothing happened. There were just the angry tension, that was about to explode any moment. 

Luckily – Jacob came back. With him he carried a stack of clothes and one pair of shoes. He stopped right after he came around the corner of the hallway. His expression got examining. He studied the situation with his gaze and then cleared his throat loudly. Now the two idiot guards were also aware of his presence and jumped back. 

„What do we have here?“

„Nothing, sir! Nothing!“, said one of the two with pleading eyes.

„Doesn't look like nothing, George. Why did you hold your gun in this poor fuckers face? Is his day not shitty enough already?“

„H-he tried to attack us!“, lied the other.

Alex looked at him in anger. Unbelievable. He just couldn't believe what was happening right know.  
Damn assholes. Jacobs gaze wandered to Alex and inspected him from head to toe. It was just a second but he felt his eyes on him immediately. Then the redhead began to laugh, leaving everyone in confusion. He let the clothes fall regardless on the ground and walked slowly closer.

„So you want me to believe that this sack of bones attacked you? You could just crush him with one snip of your finger. He isn't that dumb to seriously take it up with you“

Alex could see the color in the faces of the two guards slowly draining. They knew they were finished. Jacob now stood in front of them. His eyes cold and merciless.

„You know what I think? I think ya're that dumb - To lie to me and thinking you can get away with that. I mean, seriously, what were you thinking?“

He reached the cheek of a guard with one Hand and patted it in a passing manner. 

And then – From one second to another – He draw a knife out of his pocket and stabbed him in the gut. 

The guard groaned and sunk to the ground. His eyes full of fear and confusion. Jacob let him fell, left the huge hunting-knife in the stomach of that poor soul. Head shaking in dissappointment he whiped the blood on his hands away, before picking the dropped stack of clothes back up. The second guard stormed to the injuried man and tried to help. Jacob passed him – But stopped midway.

„Take him to the infirmary, Lewis“, he simply said, „And hand me the knife back tomorrow. Or else you'll be the next on the ground, is that clear?“

He nodded quickly „Yessir!“

Then he began to drag the unconcious body down the hallway. At that they left a horribly red trace on the floor. Jacob noticed where Alex was looking and stood beside him. Looking in the same direction.

„He'll survive it. At least as long they don't remove the knife, then this poor assholes blood will scatter everywhere“, he said.

He looked over to Alex, who seemed more than disturbed about the last events. 

„What's wrong?“

„Nothing“

„Speak up“ 

A command.

„He did nothing besides pulling out his gun and you just stabbed him, I just can't understand why-“

„He lied to me, kiddo. He knew exactly what the consquences where and regardless - he lied to me. It was his own desicion and now he's got his punishment. It's that easy. It's all about obeying in here, remember?“

Jacobs stare was so intense that he feared that he could look right into his soul. Alex gulped heavily, but didn't dare to step back. The redhead came closer, entering his personal space once again. A breath tickles his ear. He wasn't very fond of that but at this state Alex could even smell the man. He smelled like the forest mixed with something like gunpowder and sweat. But far more present was this pure frightening aura of this man. Simply breathing became an enormous feat. His stomach contracted, his hands began to cramp.

„You're shivering again“, he suddenly whispered. 

This time Alex backed away – almost jumped away – and gave him a perplexed look. Jacob seemed to expect that and just grinned at him. Seeing fear in his eyes seemed to amuse him. Still bragging about breaking Alex so easily. That he finally had him under his thumb now. Alex himself felt that too. It left him feeling ugly distasteful inside. But he had to simply gulp it down. He had to.

A wave with his head. It was time to go. Going where? Jacob walked ahead and Alex followed him silently. His heart still beating fast, fast, fast. They went up the stairs and through a corridor. Soon after that he stopped in front of one the doors. Jacob unlocked it and led him in. It was a small room with simply a bed and a dresser in it. Nothing else. He tossed the stack of clothes on the bed and turned to face him again. 

„This are yer own four walls now, congrats. Get some sleep, tomorrow's gonna be a tough day“

And with that he left him alone and locked the door behind him. Alex felt like all that pressure was suddenly vanished and he could finally breath. He went to the window. It was now pitchblack outside. To his misfortune the window was nailed up. It was no use. So escaping in here seemed more than hopeless, he guessed dissappointed. 

He decided to finally put on some of the clothes Jacob brought him. Like he expected every piece was stained with that damn ugly red Eden's Gate cross. Like he was one of them now. And that made him even angrier. He stood still for a while thinking. Then he put on the clothes. Fine, he would play Jacobs game. He would play it as long as he had to until a chance of escaping opened up for him. Maybe he could find Hannah, Sara, or Mark somewhere and made up a plan with them. This time they would be careful. There just had to be a way out of this. Eden's Gate had to pay for everything they did to them and the people in Hope County. 

He put the rest of the clothes in the dresser and switched the light off to finally go to bed. Tomorrow would be a tough day, just like Jacob had said.


	4. Betrayer

It felt like an eternity that he had slept in a proper bed. Laying in all that soft pillows was like slowly floating into his long-awaited sleep. He wrapped himself up in the blanket and in that position he finally felt safe for the very first time in here. He dreamed a dreamless dream and awoke to the strident scream of the morning-alarm. He nearly jumped out of the bed. But seconds later he remembered where he was. The friendly light of the rising sun greeted him through the window. Alex pushed the blanked away and stood up, putting on a beige pullover that were a little too big for him. His forehead and his leg were better today. Walking still pained him but the pain wasn't as present anymore as it was in the last days. Sleeping properly was good for him. For both his mind and his body. He felt a little more like himself again. 

After all it wasn't Jacob who unlocked the door for him. It was a guard. Luckily not one of the guards of yesterday (Surely one of them was dead by now anyways). He had a funny mustache. Alex assumed he'd stood there all night, judging by the chair beside the door and the amount of apple scraps in a bowl. The guard looked kinda pissed and didn't say more than he had to. He led him downstairs to the canteen. At the entrance he left him alone again. He snatched some food from the serving and searched for a free seat in the hall. The cultists sat together in groups and chatted happy with each other. Some of them watched Alex in mistrust as he walked. He felt relieved as he finally sat down at a desk near one of the windows. Two others sat there, a man and a woman. They looked at him concerned at first but then quickly put their attention to themselves again. Alex liked it better like this. He didn't want to speak to them. He wouldn't even know what to say instead of the number of insults he thought of right know. 

His gaze went outside to the gate he got quite a good view from here. A couple of guards stood there together and seemed like they listened to someone. Alex leaned a bit over the table so he could see whom they were looking at. Jacob. Crossed arms. Serious look in his eyes. It wasn't that hard to see that there was a big problem going on outside. Alex hardly ate from his tablet and watched them further. The redhead looked like he gave some orders to every single one of them. It seemed that the guards soon were going to head somewhere. In groups of three each. Alex could recognize that by Jacobs hand moving. Then they got into the SUVs parked next to the building and began to drove of the place. Jacob turned and walked back to the building. Alex watched longing into the freedom outside as the gate opened. Considering if there would be a way out of here if he just hid in one of those cars next time.

Then he was suddenly distracted by an unfamiliar voice next to him.

„It will not always be like this. That feeling, it will go away, you'll see“

Alex turned his head. It was one of the cultists next to him. He looked at them trying to keep his hatred under control than looked away again. Fuck this. 

But the guy just wouldn't leave it with that dumb comment.

„I was like you once, you know? Eden's Gate had took me here against my will too“

Alex' head jerked back immediately. 

The tall man with long hair and dark skin gave him a friendly smile to show him that he didn't have any bad intentions with him. That he just wanted a talk.

„It's true. Got myself into problems with John Seed“

He sighted. He was kinda surprised that his desk-sharers were so eager to talk to him. He wondered why and decided to give in.

„Who's that?“, he asked him.

„You don't know him yet?“, asked the blonde woman next to the man surprised, „John Seed the Baptist?“

Right, Alex could remember him. This guy from the sermon, who liked the sound of his own voice a little but too much. That guy who arranged to nearly drown Alex and his friends in that damn river and drugged them – While calling it 'Cleansing'. Psychopath. Jacob had been there too. Had put a fucking knife at his throat. He could've never imagined that this was only the beginning of trauma and pain he would suffer. 

„Yeah, I met him. Nice guy. Really“

„Listen, I'm really not lying to you when I say things will get better. You just have to stop struggling and simply go with the stream. If you're less angry it feels easier to listen. Listen to what the Father has to say. And if you do and the words can reach you – You'll never want to leave this place again. I swear to god“

Alex shook his head in disbelief.

„And I swear to the fucking sasquatch that won't happen, okay? Simply as that. You've no clue what Jacob – Eden's Gate – Did to me and even to my friends, so don't act like you know how I feel. You don't“

And with that he jumped up from his chair and stormed out of the canteen. Leaving the two cultists whose names he didn't know (Probably never will) behind. They didn't call after him but he clearly felt their eyes on his back. And the eyes from much others in the hall.

Fury pulsated in his veins as but as soon as he was outside of the room everything in his began to calm down. Was really everyone in here like this? So clearly blind against this violence that was going on here? Maybe he was really the only normal person at this place. 

He was only halfway back to his room, as the guard from before - Funny-Beard – came to him. 

„Jacob wants to see you“, he simply said. 

Alex stopped abruptly and begann to follow him. His expression tense, eyes nervous. It wasn't like he didn't expect it after what he'd said to him yesterday. But something in him just wanted to run away from this man. Far far far away. The guard led him to a door in the highest floor. After he knocked with his heavy fist against the wood, you could hear an expecting growl from the inside.

The room looked like an office. Jacob sat at a desk, head bent over a mess of paper. In his hand an half ready-smoked cigarette. Behind him an open balcony door. As they entered he simply nodded to the chair in front of the desk. Not even bothered in looking at them as he studied the papers. He seemed stressed, a bit angry even. Alex gulped heavy as he walked to him and sat down. He heard the door getting closed. The guard was gone and now he was all alone with him. Jacob still stared down for a while in concentration. Alex sat there and tried to ignore the anxious feeling that crept up inside him. His hands felt sweaty.

Moments later the redhead put the papers aside and took a deep pull on the remains of his cigarette. As he breathed the smoke out of his nostrils he watched Alex with examining, unblinking eyes. 

„Your leg's got better I see. That's good“, he said simply and stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray.

„Yeah“

„Wanna know why you're here now, right? Calm down, kiddo. Just have some questions for you, that's all. A little chitchat won't hurt“

Alex bit on his tongue. There was no way he could calm down like this. Asshole.

„So, what's with this girl – Hannah, right? That's her name? The way she screamed your name over and over back in the woods you both must be pretty close, I assume“

„We're friends“, he said, his irritation clearly written in his face.

„Simply friends? So nothing's going on behind closed doors?“

Alex had heard enough of that bullshit. 

„Why do you wanna know?“

It was obvious that Jacob wasn't fond of his sudden boltness, but he let him go with it for now. 

„Your little princess had run off into the woods again. John was too soft on her and now she'd escaped“ he snapped with his fingers, „Just like this. Nowhere to be found. So the whole damn thing fell to me once again. And you kow what that means for you, right?“

Alex slowly shook his head in disbelief. He held back a laugh. But not because it was funny. Not at all.

„No. No, no, no, no, no - I won't do that. I can't – I won't sell out my friends, okay?“

Jacob seemed more than displeased. But his temper was still far away from furious. 

„Oh, you will do that“, he said slowly, „You forgot that you don't have any choice in this“

Alex stared at his cramped and folded hands. He couldn't endure this grueling eyecontact any longer. 

„Remember, Alex. Rembember what I told you. There's only one rule in here“

He leaned over the desk. His voice quiet and looming. 

„Say it, come on, say it for me“

Alex finally looked up and met cold eyes. He didn't even dare to breathe right know. His mouth opened but no words would come out. This was the first time he called him by his name. It made him feel uneasy. Someone once said that a name could give you power over a person. And now he knew what they've meant with that. 

„Obey“

He tried to sound stable and calm, but there was that strange quiver in his voice, that ruined just everything. He was ashamed of himself. But Jacob seemed downright pleased. He leaned back with a sigh.

„So let's start again, won't we?“

Alex nodded, trying to blend his mind out of this situation. He knew exactly that he would regret what he was about to tell this man in front of him. It would make everything worse for Hannah.

„How long do ya know each other?“

„Dunno, twelve years maybe?“

„You've met as kids?“

„Yeah“

„Pretty long time, huh? Must be nice. Knowing each others habits, favors, and everything. I'm quite sure you can tell me what she would do out there. What do ya think? What would be her first intention after running off into freedom?“

„I don't know“

„You do know. Don't lie to me“

„Maybe – maybe she would trying to get help? Knocking on doors to call the police or something like that“

„She wouldn't try to fight and free her friends on her own?“

„No, I'm sure she won't“

„But she's kinda skilled in this, or not? Mastermind behind your plans so as rescuer in shiny armour. Leader-type. Good with guns. I saw that right away“

„She was in the middle of joining the Navy“

„So that's why. Would be a fucking shame for us of getting to lose her. What else do you know?“

„She's long gone. You'll never going to find her, because she's just shook you guys off. Maybe she's already on the way to a police station“

Jacob stood up his chair and walked around the desk. A sly grin all over his face.

„Doesn't matter, I'll find her anyway. Wanna bet with me?“

He came to a stop as he leaned at the front side of the desk. Arms crossed as he looked down to Alex.

„I don't have anything to bet“

„Indeed, that's right. Because everything in here – yes, even you pathetic piece of shit - already belongs to me. Wouldn't gain anything in that“

„Yeah, you made that point pretty clear. I get it, okay?“

„Is that so?“

„Yeah. I know what you're capable of now. Just want you to know that I won't try anything anymore. You've won this, okay?“

Jacob grinned poised as Alex speaked and walked around his chair to unsettle him. He stopped behind him and leaned forward. His face next to his ear. Alex could feel his warm breath against his neck. He shuddered.

„No, you don't know shit, kiddo“, the redhead whispered with his low and gravel-raspy sounded voice, „But if you don't wanna find out then better ensure that that words of yours are true. And stay true. Alright?“

„Okay“, he said quietly, his body unmoving and petrified. 

After this the man patted him on his shoulders, signaling him that this horrifying talk was finally done. 

„Oh, and don't forget to get your leg checked in the infirmary“

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Feel free to comment your opinion on this, I'm curious guys :D The next chapter will be uploaded in a couple of days maybe on saturday. See ya!


	5. The Hand

As soon as Alex had arrived in the infirmary, as quickly he had found out that not only his leg would get checked out. He should have seen that one coming, though. The doctor had gone through several tests with him. Had written down his exact weight, height and his mental and physical state. Everything down in that mysterious clipboard she had carried with her. He'd almost felt like a fucking guinea pig. But it hadn't been that bad to spend all that time in the ugly white-walled room. In fact the doctor, a blonde haired woman, was quite a beauty. They hadn't been exactly flirting with each other but still there had been this … atmosphere. Like they had known each other from somewhere. But it made him insecure that her gaze always wandered to the top of his head - where instead of his hair now numerous scratches were to be seen.

Finally the tests were over and Alex put on his sweater again. The doctor sat behind a desk and noted some things on the clipboard. Her hair was braided and made her look younger than her real age. He guessed she was in the same age as him. Her skin was pale, almost white, and matched with that doctors coat perfectly. He always liked the pretty and mature ones. Under other circumstances – He would have asked her for a quick coffee date. But definitely not now and definitely not here und not fucking like he was now. He didn't know that he was staring at her until she looked up und their eyes met. She smiled a bit.

„You don't remember me, do you?“, she asked.

„We'd met before?“

„In the canteen, couple of hours ago“, she said, „You and Andrew had an argument – Big guy, long, dark hair, you remember?“

He blinked at her in confusion but then, finally, he remembered. She'd been that woman sitting next to the guy. Last time she didn't wear this doctors coat and didn't have her hear braided. Because of that he didn't recognised her straight away.

„That was you?“

„Oh yes. Ummm I just want to apologise for Andrew, sometimes he's just too straight forward and doesn't know when to shut his mouth“

„It's okay. Wasn't that kinda big deal“

„Glad to hear, my name's Amelia by the way“

„Alex“

„Short form of Alexander isn't it?“

„Just Alex. Alexander was my father“

„Oh, I'm sorry“

„Don't be. He isn't dead, just somewhere in Chicago. Probably been sent to prison again“

The look in Amelias eyes was warm and somehow caring. She wanted to say something, but Alex didn't want to talk about that man calling himself his father anymore.

„What do you do with all that information about me?“, he asked and pointed to the clipboard.

„I'm not allowed to speak about that“, she said, with an apologising expression in her face.

„You bring these papers to Jacob, don't you?“

She looked around the room, insuring herself that no one was watching them – and nodded quickly.

„Why?“, he whispered.

„It's normal proceeding with newcomers. He wants to know about your strengths and weaknesses. If you are useful to the Project“

„And if I ain't?“

„He says, everyone in here serves a purpose, a higher weal. Even the weak. But he hasn't decided about you yet. Your purpose hasn't revealed. He knows that you can be strong, but only for others not for yourself. And that makes you weak. Technically“

„How the heck do you know all of this? Did he speak with you about me?“, his face was kind of aghast.

In the next moment they got interrupted. The guard Funny-Beard, came through the open door. Grimly.

„You“, he pointed out at Alex, „Come with me“

„Where are we going?“, he asked.

„Not your business. Just follow me, sinner“

He gave Amelia a quick look over the shoulder. She didn't move from her spot. The clipboard gripped tight in her hands. A pained smile. Then he followed the guard outside.

To his own surprise he led him through the hallways of the basement – Stopping in front of the room he remembered all too well. The naked and tiled walls. The single lightbulb above the chair. Down here where these two assholes had abused him. Had violated his head with a knife while cutting his hair off. Now as he stood here again, there wasn't any hair pieces left. But instead of hair – Dried blood and gore. It was spread all over the room. The nausea climbed up Alex' throat. He could gulp it down. He didn't even notice, that the guard behind him had left him alone until he came back with a bucket of water and a mop.

„Why the long face? You should've seen the poor fucker on that chair, haha“, he said with a grin and forced the mop into Alex' hands, „And you've been chosen to clean all this shit here up. Good luck with that“

Alex tried his best not to breath out of his nose and oppressed any choking.

„No way, I'm not gonna do this“, he said hands raised in protest, the mop now being dumped on the ground.

„It's an order right from Jacob. So don't be a pussy about it. You want to end on that chair too? Alright, I'll go right to him and tell-“

„No, no, nonono - Imma do this, okay? Okay?“, Alex picked up the mop, „See? I'm gonna do it. Nothing to tell Jacob“

„You better do it properly. If there's any red drop left if you come to me afterwards, I'll tell him about this, alright?“

„Yeah yeah“

„Okay, I'm waiting outside“

Alex sticked out his middlefinger as he turned his back to him and simply walked outside. Then he sighed and started with the work. 

In this room weren't any windows and because of that he was even more shocked as he walked out of the basement as he was done. It was fucking evening. The sun was about to go under behind the mountains. He could see it as he walked through the hallway to the showers. His burdock - Funny-Beard - was behind him, walked silently. Alex wondered if he could outdistance him if only his leg was healthy. But right now running seemed in any case more than impossible. His neck, his back, his shoulders - Almost everything hurt from scrubbing this damn floor. He just wanted to slip in his warm bed and snuggle up inside the blanket. 

Luckily the guard didn't intend to go inside with him. It wasn't like something like that bothered him anymore - The whole workforce had alerady seen him naked - But alone he could think better than while someone staring at him. 

The shower was cold as ever. Nothing new. But to have the splatters of blood and the gore from his skin was kinda relieving. In the first hour of cleaning he wanted nothing but puke, but the thought of cleaning that off later too, wasn't something Alex was keen on. Extra work. So he held it in. And to his surprise it got easier and easier to carry that disgust. It slowly vanished. He imagined for himself that this wasn't human blood and gore, no, instead it was just dirt. And he refused to think of what kind of dirt it was. He just thought that he should clean it as fast as he could, only that way Jacob would be satisfied with him and fucking leave him alone for today. 

He got out of the shower and wrapped himself in a towel. As he put of the fresh clothes he had brought with him - He was suddenly distracted by loud knocking at the door. 

"What?", Alex shouted annoyed.

"Hurry up in there! Won't wait here all day, sinner!!"

"I have a name, asshole", Alex growled to himself as he finished. 

The door flung open with a loud noise as Alex came out of the washroom and caused the guard to jerk up a bit. Alex grinned by that, but only behind Funny-Beards back. They headed up the stairs and he already knew what was coming. He was sent to Jacob again. Hurray. 

As they entered the hallway to his office, Alex knew something would happen. Because of the pained screams that echoed out of the inside. His knees began to melt. His feet refused to go any further. But the guard behind him had - as ever - no mercy with him and pushed him more or less gently to the door. He knocked. The screams didn't stop but they could hear another shouting voice from inside. Jacobs voice. 

"What is it?", he sounded not satisfied, definitely not satisfied. Oh no.

Funny-Beard opened the door and pushed Alex inside the office. And what was happening in there was far worse, than he'd imagined. If he didn't clean all this gore an hour ago he surely would have puked right know. Right on the floor. But luckily he didn't. 

There was some guy he didn't know laying on the floor, he writhed himself over and over. An extremly pained expression in his face. His screaming had stopped, now he whimpered qietly. He grabbed his own arm, held it in some weird position. But this wasn't the only thing that was off. 

As Alex looked over to Jacob, who crouched next to him - he saw his hunting knife in his one hand and in the other.. was .. was -

Jacob tossed it on the ground infront of him and shook his head in dissappointment. Then he stood up. 

Alex stared at that thing on the floor, but he just couldn't recognize it. What was happening right now? What? The? Fucking? Heck? 

It was a severed hand. A fucking HAND.

Alex took a few steps back, he didn't even realise, that he was moving until his back slammed against something hard. He wanted to jerk forward again, but out of the sudden a bigger force held him in place. 

"What's the matter, kiddo?", Jacob whispered - tightening his grip around Alex' chest, "Can't handle it? Thought after cleaning up that mess downstairs it wouldn't be that hard for you"

Alex didn't listen, his gaze layed on the knife in his hand. On the dripping blood on it. Jacob seemed to follow his gaze and lowered the knife, put it back in his holster. The moment he let Alex go he wobbled a little on his feet. His mind in shock. 

This wasn't happening right know. He couldn't hear the whimpers and pained screams of the man on the floor in front of him. He couldn't see him either. This had never happened. Maybe he dreamed right now. An awful awful awful nightmare. 

A sudden wave of pain brought him back into reality. He blinked a few times and saw Jacob in front of him. Had he - had he slapped him just now?

"Easy now. Breathe, Alex. Look at me"

Alex tried desperately to focus on the redhead as the guard dragged the poor soul outside of the office, leaving fat red drops of blood on the floor like some kind of track. 

A fingersnap brought his gaze back. 

"No, look at me. Not over there. At me. Right. Yer quite a mess right now, you know that? Hmm what should I do with you? Poor motherfucker. Thought you can handle it"

"Wh-wh-wh-"

"I said breathe, so breathe then, kiddo. Right, like that. In and out. Now wanna say something? Speak up"

"Why are you doing this t-to him?"

"What? Cutting off his hand? Hey, don't look at me like that, you know the rules. Punishment is only for those who break them. Ya wanna know what he did? He tried to rape our sweet doctor - You should know her already - I couldn't allow that, for the best sake not"

"What? Amelia? Is she - is she okay?"

"She kicked him in the balls and got away. But he wouldn't get away with this I made sure of that. Should've castrate him instead of only taking his filthy hand. But wasn't my choice. She asked me to have mercy on him. You feelin better now?"

"Yeah", Alex nodded weakly. 

"Then clean this shit up"

"What?!"

"You heard me, kiddo"

"But-"

"No complaining. And since you scrubbed the basement to it's topform this little mess here shouldn't be much, am I right?"

Alex said nothing more. His heart was still racing in his chest as he got himself the mob and the bucket back and started to clean everything up. Jacob sat at his desk and looked through several papers. And something that looked like a well-known clipboard. But that bothered him less than the dead hand next to him on the floor. He just couldn't bring himself to pick it up already. Because of this he cleaned off the blood splashes first. Very properly. But the time came when there weren't any - not even tiny - blood splashes left and he hadn't any other choice than to deal with this hand-problem. He stared at it a bit too long, he noticed, because suddenly he felt Jacobs gaze on his back. 

Not long and he would lose his patience. And oh, that was only a matter of seconds. He had to do something. Nowwwwwwww.

So he grabbed that thing with his hand and picked it up.

His head flipped upwards as he suddenly heard a voice.

"Hey, hold on with that", Jacob said and stood up, "I have an idea. Come with me, kiddo. Let's take a walk"

They left the office and walked downstairs. This subtle feeling of fear crept up again. And Jacobs happy whistling echoing in the hallways, wasn't helping matters. Alex stared at his back absently as he walked behind him and hoped for the best - still carrying that hand of this poor motherfucker.


	6. The Judge

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wrote this because I'm sick at home right now and it's boring me to death lol. Have fun guys.

It was unusually silent in the building. Maybe because it was already nighttime and everyone was surely asleep already. Oh, how bad he wished he could do the same but no, Jacob seemed to have other plans with him. 

They went outside and a few guards came by, nodding at Jacob in a greeting and resprectful manner. After that they examined Alex' bald head and began to whisper to each other as soon as they were gone. 

Alex didn't pay any attention to them, his gaze layed on this severed hand. It was cold and slowly began to get stiff - Rigor Mortis, something that he had heard of back then in his biology class. But with 16 he never expected to see something like this on his own - And at some motherfuckers severed hand. But ten years later there he was. Hurray. Life was full of surprises his mom had always said. She'd been right. But not in a pleasant way. 

Although it was dark Alex slowly got a clue of where Jacob had led him. 

The cages.

His heart was almost jumping out of his chest as they walked through them. What was Jacob up to? Alex was afraid of the answer. He took a look over his shoulder. Behind them just foggy darkness. Jacob stopped and Alex almost crashed into him. Luckily that didn't happen. The moon appeared again from behind clouds and everything got brighter. Now Alex could see the inside of the cage infront of them. It wasn't empty. Definitely not. 

A wolf was growling at them, theeth bared. But he didn't quite look like a wolf, not like a healthy one. His fur was white and he was way taller than any normal wolf he had seen before. 

"What the fuck is this?", Alex burst out and took a few steps back. 

"A jugde, a genetically modified wolf if you wanna put it that way. It's the first test object that had passed all tests and everything. It's fuckin beautiful, isn't it?"

Alex looked at Jacob in confusion and answered slowly: "Yeah sure..." 

But he just thought - What the fuck???

Jacob stepped closer to the cage and smiled - fucking smiled, "The judges will help to protect our people. And as soon as the harvest begins they will help us to sort out the weak" A breathy laugher "It doesn't seem to like ya, kiddo"

Alex gulped down his anxiety and said: "You think I'm weak"

Jacob turned his head to him, expression stern and dead serious.

"That's right. You didn't know that before, did ya? I guess together with your little friends you always played the hero, the leader. But it was just a mask to hide behind. When we met I've seen that right away, that weakness inside of you. You are weak, that's a matter of fact here. But back then in the forest you've revealed another side of yourself. I've seen that you can be strong, but only for the sake of your loved ones. A pity, but now I know it's in there", He pointed at his chest, "It's gonna be a rough time for ya but in the end I'll help you to become strong. You just have to let me. The new world that awaits us will eat you alive if you don't"

"Hey, ummm... I don't wanna sound ungrateful or something- But I don't believe in any of this. Shit, I don't even believe in God so why are you doing this to me? Does it sound so impossible to you that there are people out there that just don't wanna be saved by your people even if the day of apocalypse would come? Why all this manhandling and kidnapping and sorts? I mean my friends and me would never have come here in the first place and investigating against Eden's Gate if you guys just-"

Jacob said nothing but the pressure between them got heavier and heavier. So Alex just stopped himself in the middle of the sentence, staring at the man infront of him. His expression had become cold like ice. Alex didn't dare to say anything else, he feared to be teared apart in the next moment. 

"Joseph said God spoke to him and that he should save as many souls as he could. Ya don't believe in God? Fine, me neither. But I will support my brother, no matter what - And that also means end justifies the means, ya heard of that before?"

He came closer and practically towered over him with his height. Alex was scared stiff, not being able to move a finger. 

"And as for you - I thought you were done with this disgusting self pity already. Thought you had adapt to your fate, accepted it, but - shame on me - I was wrong. You think it was because of Eden's Gates doing you're here now? No. Yer not even born in Hope County. On other circumstances you would have never heard of this place. You know what? If you didn't come here all the way out of nowhere from your hometown to put your filthy noses in someone elses business - Than nothing would have happened. But now you're here. So stop fuckin complaining, kiddo. All desicions have consequences, that's just life. You understand?"

Alex tried to part his shivering lips and formed the words Jacob wanted to hear "I understand, I'm sorry"

Jacob grabbed Alex' chin and forced to look at him directly. It hurt but he tried not to show it.

The other man whispered: "Don't make me repeat this, alright? Next time I hear your stupid complaining you'll find your bony ass in one of that cages again. So listen, kiddo. I want you to do something. You gonna throw this poor fuckers hand in the judge cage. Can you do that for me?"

"But-"

"Shhhh calm down. It's no big deal isn't it? That guy doesn't need it anymore, so go on. Do it. Don't you see the judge is starving? Perhabs he'll eat you if you don't give him anything"

Why was his face so close right now? Alex didn't dare to even breath. 

"O-okay"

He just wanted this to be over. Luckily - Jacob let his chin go and stepped aside so Alex could approach the cage. And he did. With shaking knees and a pounding heart in his chest he tossed that dead hand in the dirt inside. The white wolf teared it almost immediately into tiny pieces. Bones cracking horribly. Alex turned away, he was disgusted by himself. But a firm grip on his shoulder stopped him. 

"Who allowed you to look away?", Jacob asked and his grip slowly began to hurt, "Thought we were done? Come back here"

Reluctantly Alex gaze fell in that cage again, where the judge chewed completly satisfied on a piece of thumb. Now this was disgusting, no matter what else he had seen in the last days. This was just inhuman and campy, he thought with a grimaced face. Jacob inspected him closely. Was this some kind of sick test Alex went trough? Or did Jacob simply found it funny to do such barbaric things?

"You look like ya wanna say something. Don't be shy, tell the class, kiddo"

"Nevermind, would be just complaining", Alex said with a small smile.

It had just a hint of provocation in it but Jacob, the sly bastard, sniffed it out right away.

"Think ya funny, huh?", he whispered, "Ya know what's really funny?"

He seemed all calm and collected but it was the way he looked at Alex that haunted the shit out of him. 

"That you can kill two of my men with a fuckin AK-47 and now behave like a little pussy, that can't even see some blood without shitting his pants. I think that's quite a big laugher"

Alex gulped heavily and felt suddenly uneasy, very very uneasy.

"Nothing to say 'bout that? No?"

"It's -", Alex cleared his throat to steady his voice, "It's not the same, okay? Shit, I'm even sorry for your people I killed back then, but it was us or them and I was so afraid at that time - I - I just wanted my friends to get out of there. To be safe. I didn't mean to kill them, but I had no other choice"

He paused to breath a few times. He hid his shaking fingers behind his back. But Jacob said nothing, he looked some kind of expecting. So Alex gathered all of his courage and spoke again.

"What you do, the way you punish people - I mean, I get the one rule thing, right? But - It's just too much for me. You're right I can't handle it and this is nothing I can ever adapt to. Even if you put a gun into my face and force me, I could never adapt to this life here. Maybe it's like you say and I'm weak. But I think it's a kind of belief-matter, you know? Something inside of myself, call it soul if you want, it will never be okay with this"

He didn't dare to look the other man in the eye as he'd spoken, but now he risked a short glance upwards and immediately met Jacobs piercing gaze. Alex froze again. And with that fear found him again and got the best of him. His pulse hammered in his head. Damn why didn't he think before he'd spoken all that shit out loud infront of Jacob? No doubt he would throw him in that cage again. For sure. 

Jacob approached him silently. His expression was unreadable. He lifted his hand and took Alex' face in his hands, in a gentle manner. 

"It's okay, Alex", he simply said, "How long you've been here, huh? Few days? It's okay to question your new environment and all that extra conditions. Only a natural thing. Nothing wrong with that. You are in the middle of a transition and some things can indeed seem kinda confusing or even inhuman to you. But let me say one thing, I may rule with fear in here but I'm not my brother, I'm not like John, who uses violence and torture just for his own demand of pleasure and distraction. Everything I do is never out of a whim. Because there are rules"

Alex blinked a few times after Jacob lowered his hands and was about to go back into the building. But he just couldn't stop himself to stay quiet. 

"You never do something out of a whim?", Alex asked and the other man stopped, "And then what the heck was this whole 'let's go feed the wolf with this hand snack'-thing about?"

Jacob turned around and sighed, crossed his arms after that. A short silence. But Alex would get his answer.

"Two weeks ago this guy in my office raped another girl in the washroom. He'd got a few punches from my boys and everything was fine. Problem solved. But he dared to try it again. He didn't just broke the rules, he undermined my authority in front of everyone in here. I wanted to kill him for that but a certain someone practically begged me to spare his life, so - I had no other choice than doing this to keep my status. Ya understand now? Do me a favor and cut out with this useless pity for that fucker. He doesn't deserve it"

Alex nodded slowly "Yeah - I - I understand"

"Good. Now come on, it's fuckin freezing out here. Gotta get some sleep before the morning alarm goes off", Jacob said and tilted his head in the direction in front of them. 

Alex followed him silently.


	7. The ride

The next morning came earlier than Alex had wished. He felt like he'd barely slept for three hours and that was probably true. Morning alarm had almost gave him a heart attack. The guard was angrily knocking on the other side of the door and Alex was shure that he would have come in to manhandle him out of bed if he didn't get up. So he put some clothes on that were laying around and came outside. 

They never locked the door but Alex knew Funny-Beard would be sitting outside so his chance of escape here was lower than zero. That guy may looked funny with his beard but in fact he was big, way taller than himself, and had muscles made of steel. His whole body appeared like a big 'stop' sign. 

"Rise and shine, baldy", the guard said with a completly stern face, "You're late for breakfast"

Alex walked in front of him and grinned "Baldy? What became out of the whole 'sinner'-thing? Got tired of that already?"

"Shuttup", he got as an answer together with a rough push at his back, so Alex stumbled a bit forward.

After he got himself something from the buffet, that looked at least a bit eatable, he went through the chattering at eating people looking for a free seat. Maybe a free desk all for himself. But instead he found Amelia, staring absently outside of the window. Alex began to come closer and sat next to her. 

"Morning", he said.

After a few seconds she finally turned her gaze inwards and gave him a small smile "Oh - Morning, Alex"

"You not gonna eat something?"

"Not that hungry today", she said.

"Shure? I can get you something, if you want"

"No, it's ok. But thank you"

Amelia looked tired. Really tired. Her hair wasn't braided like yesterday. Now her blonde locks looked kinda wild and unbrushed. Alex felt a bit uneasy next to her. He wanted to comfort her but didn't quite know how. 

"If you want to talk", he started, "I want you to know that I'm here, okay?"

Her gaze shot upwards and met his. Her eyes looked warm and lovingly. But hurt.

"I appreciate that", a pause, "But I feel like I have to think about everything that had happened. Processing things, you know?"

"Understandable. But ... Can I ask you something?"

"Shure"

"Why did you ask Jacob not to kill this asshole?"

Amelia looked confused.

"Why I-", she began, "Taking a life is never the right thing to do, Alex. I thought at least you could understand that"

"I can understand that, but .. What if he will try to do it again? I'm just worried about you"

"He won't. Didn't you hear it by now? Jacob took his hand and fed it to his judge. Everyone in here speaks about these rumors. I went to Jacob this morning and asked him about that and he said it's true. So this guy knows by now that he is dead if he tries something. Even if he is that dumb - Jacob wouldn't allow it, wouldn't let him near me ever again. He can be so overprotective at times"

Alex studied her expression as she said her last sentence. Amelia immediately went red all over the face, as she realised that she perhabs said a bit too much as she had wanted.

"Are you two some kind of close or something?", Alex asked carefully.

"Me and Jacob? Why are you asking that all of the sudden?", she asked, startled by his question.

"Nevermind", he said, "You don't have to answer"

"Okay. Anyways I have to go, I'm sorry. There are some appointments with patients today and I don't wanna be late", a smile as she stood up from her chair, "If you need something, you know were to find me. bye!"

"Bye"

Not long after she was gone, the guard appeared again.

"Baldy", a request to come with him. Now.

Without eating up properly Alex had to come with him. Maybe downstairs again. Doing some spring cleaning in the torure chamber, or something like that. But he didn't lead him in the basement. And not upstairs. They went outside. 

Fucking outside. 

Funny-Beard guided him to the other side of the inner courtyard, where a couple of white Pickups were parked. One of the vehicles engine was swiched on in the same moment they both arrived there.

Alex recognized the strange and some kind of creepy looking wolf sitting on the loading area. The judge. The pictures of yesterday - of it eating that thumb flashed up again inside of his brain and let Alex cringe for a bit.

They walked next to the car and the guard pushed Alex inside of the wide opened passenger door - Closing it with a loud slam. Alex sighed annoyed at the sudden noise. But then he realised, that somebody was in there with him. So he looked to the driver's seat. And almost jerked up. 

Jacob was looking at him. A cigarette in his mouth and his Arm leaning out of the opened window.

"You look fuckin tired", he noticed verbally and and puffed some smoke out of his nose. 

Alex just said: "Same goes to you" and looked away.

"Thanks to ta certain someone, we both didn't get much sleep, huh?"

"Wow, so now it's my fault that you get the craziest ideas at midnight"

"Actually I meant that onehanded fucker - but yeah, true - If yer ask some girls in here, I really do get the craziest ideas at midnight"

Jacob laughed at that and then pulled at his cigarette again. Alex felt kinda uneasy. But he rolled his eyes, to show the redhead unmistakable how uncalled for that joke was. 

"What is it?", Jacob asked all out the sudden, "Not that experienced in bed? Thought you and that little nuisance were a couple and everything"

"Her name is Hannah - And I've already said we're just friends. Nothing more. When do you get it?", Alex bit back and glared at him. 

"Hey easy, easy there. Just wanna do some conversation here", Jacob patted him on the shoulder and threw the cigarette out of the window, "Gonna be a hella long ride, ye know?"

Alex watched siltently as the other man released the brake and drove the pickup to the closed front gate. His gaze fell outside of the car and slowly he felt his pulse shoot higher and higher. Not long and he would be outside of this hell. First time in freedom. He gulped heavily.

A sharp whistle let him flinch. Alex' gaze flew to the driver's seat where Jacob signalized a group of armed guards to open the gate for him. They moved hastily. The way infront of them was now open, but nothing happened. They both stared outside the front window, just breathing. But Alex could feel the pressure in this silence between them. But then:

"I'm gonna say this once - only once, you hear me? Don't think you can fool me boy. When you try anything stupid I'll ensure that you will be sorry for that. And you definitely will be", Jacob said calmly, "We clear?"

Alex, now sweating like hell, didn't dare to look at him as he answered.

"Yes", his voice sounded thin and almost too quiet to hear. 

But Jacob seemed to have heard him, because now the pickup began to drive off the property.


	8. The girl that got away

They didn't talk much. Maybe because Jacob saw how completely taken aback Alex was. Alex stared out of the window like he didn't see dirt roads and trees for years - even centuries. In fact the first day of his imprisonment only layed a few days, maybe a week back, but with everything he had to endure - every physical and mental torture, every threat spoken to his face - it exactly felt like centuries right now. And suddenly he felt some kind of relief sipping through his abused mind and body. Maybe it was because he knew that this awful place was now behind him. He'd always thought, he would never see anything outside of these four walls again. That they would lock him up in there forever. That was his constant fear as he cried himself to sleep on some nights. 

It was very quiet in inside of the vehicle. There was only the sound of the droning motor, as they drove slightly downhill along some forest road. Jacob kept one hand on the steering wheel and with the other he was leaning at the open window. 

"No matter how long ye're staring at me, it's no use, kiddo. Still won't tell ya", Jacob said with a sigh, eyes not once leaving the road in front of them.

Alex had asked a few times where they were heading to. But it seemed easier talking to a brick wall than to this guy next to him. Fucking dammit. Alex sighed too and rubbed his tired eyes. It got quiet again. He land around them became flatter and flatter and soon they crossed a river. Then they drove along a few fields, some with happily eating cows in it. That blue sky, the whole atmosphere was so fucking ironic, that Alex didn't quite know how to handle it. It made him upset. 

Luckily the ride would be over soon. Jacob drove the pickup straight to some big ranch in the middle of nowhere. As they got out of the vehicle Alex saw how luxury it looked like. And then he discovered the Eden's Gate flags all over the place. He didn't even know why he was surprised by that sight. Just what was he thinking?

As soon as they had arrived a man came out of the building, arms raised in a greeting manner. 

"If that isn't my beloved brother - late as ever, as I see"

It was John Seed. 

Alex' expression darkened almost immediately. He remembered all too well as he'd told his men to almost drown him and his friends in the river, drugging them with that bliss shit. That fucking bastard. The other man came closer and studied Alex' appearance as he walked. 

A sly grin formed on his face as he shouted to his brother: "Didn't know today was 'bring your pets to work'-day, Jacob"

But he didn't look to the judge beside Jacob, as the redhead fetched some things from the vehicles' truck bed. He looked Alex directly in the eyes. Alex glared at that, but he didn't say anything to him. He knew better than that.

"Let him be, John", Jacobs voice shouted from behind in a rough tone, "He's none of ya business"

John stood close - way to close - in front of Alex, making him feel uncomfortable in his own skin. Alex forced himself not to back away to Jacob, who was still way too far behind him to do something against that guy. His glare got even more intense as John moved his hand all the way up to his head and touched Alex' 3mm new grown baby hair and fucking laughed at that.

"Alex, was it?", he asked and finally took his hand away, "Almost didn't recognize you without all that ... you know? And you don't look like you're eating enough, definitely not. But you seem to keep my brother quite busy. Not much of a talker, are you? Don't worry, only a few days on my chair and I will make you sing like a nightingale, you will see. I'm very looking forward to tha-"

Jacob gently shoved his brother back.

"Not so fast, Johnny", he said, "I think he's not that keen to have ripped out his skin by one of your knifes"

"Hey, wow, you always present me like some lunatic on front of others, that's kind of unfair, isn't it?", John complained, "You never tell the whole story, if it comes to my methods. Not once mentioning the freedom all of the souls felt after I ripped their tattoed sin out of them. I set them free of their own darkness, that's what I do. Isn't that beautiful?"

It didn't sound like he was truly hurt by Jacobs behaviour, rather than that he seemed to sell the whole thing to Alex. Bringing him to jump on his boat. But that wouldn't happen, that guy creeped the shit out of Alex. He didn't know what he was capable of behind his mask of that nice lawman.

"Still won't happen", Jacob replied, crossing his arms before his chest.

Alex couldn't help but feel some kind of protected right now. Because definitely didn't want to go with that baptist. Speaking of, now he had this sly smile in his face again. Like something had popped up in his mind just now.

"I've heard some strange rumors about you lately", John said slowly, "Something about feeding severed hands to dogs. I'm afraid about what the Father would say"

"He wouldn't say anything, because it was my right to do that", Jacob bit back, "But let me think, why am I here again? Oh yeah - Because of the girl who slipped right through your fingers and got away. We gonna talk 'bout that, huh?"

"Always playing off the dramatic one, Jacob, very well", John answered lightly and laughed, "Let's go inside and have a talk. I'm excited to hear about your plan"

With that he turned around and begun to go back to the building. But Jacob didn't follow, not right away. He stood before Alex, putting his hands to his shoulders. As their eyes met, there was only warning seriousness in his gaze. Alex gulped heavily.

"Don't pull that wry frace. I won't leave you here with him, don't worry. My brother won't get you. But I want you to stay here until I'm back, alright?", Jacob said, "And remember what I said. Come on, repeat it for me"

Alex licked his dry lips, feeling this sudden nervousness now simmer inside of him. 

"N-no funny business"

"Or else?"

"Or else I will be sorry for that"

"Good boy", Jacob finally said and patted his cheek. Leaving Alex confused behind. 

He could still feel the warmth of Jacobs hand on his skin. He wanted but just could not describe the feeling inside of him right now. He knew he should feel humiliated and upset about all this. But under all that fear he felt towards this man, there was this strange feeling of being protected, this unfamiliar safety. 

Alex watched Jacob going inside, closely followed by the judge. He found it strange that he left him all alone out here. There were guards, shure, but they seemed more interested in playing cards than actually doing their job. Something was definitely off. It was a test. Jacob always seemed to test him, in every order he had gotten from him he always got that feeling. That Jacob watched every move he did. And as Alex glanced over to the ranch, he thought it was probably true. 

After minutes and minutes of waiting, standing there in the middle of the place, like ordered and unclaimed, Alex decided to walk a few meters back to the pickup and sat down on the truck bed. After a glance back to the driver's seat he discovered that the keys were gone. Obviously. Not like he planned something, he just wanted to know. Just because. 

He sat there and stared holes in the air for what felt like an eternity. A yawn. Then he pulled his knees up and layed back, watching the sky. The passing clouds. 

A quiet laugh escaped from his throat. What had become out of him. Not even a week ago he'd done everything, had crossed every line for the freedom of his friends and his own. And now? And now... He was like this. In the middle of a transformation, as Jacob had said. Whatever the fuck that should mean. He just wanted out of that filthy cage, wanted to survive - how exactly did everything come to this in the end? That he sat there and waited. Just waited. Like the obedient little slave he was.

But he had no choice. He couldn't run away. Not now. It hurt his gut but he just couldn't do it. Even if the path of freedom laughed right at him. Jacob would sick the judge on him if he would ran. That was probably the only reason why he took it with him. He wanted Alex to know. 

Alex sighed and sat up. Still no sign of Jacob. The sun already began to set. The clouds slowly got pink and orange. But then he heard it.

A whisper. 

At first he thought he imagined it, because it just couldn't be. This familiar voice that he didn't hear for centuries, it had to come out of his own head. It had to be. But then the voice appeared again. 

"Alex", the voice whispered, "Come here"

He looked around. Trying to locate the source. Irritaded he stood up and began to walk around.

"Come here - now, idiot. The guards aren't looking"

There! As inconspicuous as possible Alex walked across the inner courtyard - Behind some kind of warehouse or hangar. And there she was:

Hannah.

Alex couldn't believe his eyes. It really was her. 

"Oh my god, Alex ...", she said with a sad face, "So it really was you after all. Wasn't shure at first. What did they do to you? You look terrible - like - like you went trough-"

"-hell?", he said with a sad smile, "Yeah kinda. But don't worry about me - Hannah, you definitely should not be here right now. These guys, they are searching for you and would do everything right now to get you back. You have to run!"

"I will, but not without you. I knew sooner or later they would bring you here, to get you on this lunatics chair. The wait was worth it, now we can go together - Now come on, let's get out of this shit hole"

She tried to pull at his pullover and started walking, but Alex stopped her. 

"Sorry, Hannah, I - I can't"

"What?"

She stopped, petrified.

"I can't go with you. I have to find out where they keep Sara and Mark. I won't go without them"

"Alex, we have to go!"

"No, I can't"

Alex meant it. But he was shure Hannah could see the fear in his eyes. But she understood. 

"You shure?", she asked carefully.

"Yeah", he answered.

It scared the shit out of him to be left here alone but he also knew it was the right thing to do. For a moment neither of them was able to move, they just looked at eachother with heartbroken eyes. 

"Go, Hannah", Alex said finally.

"Okay"

A tear ran down hear face as she hugged him thightly. And for a moment, only a short moment, he finally felt happy. That was before everything went downhill. 

Just one second later - A loud noise banged through the atmosphere. Pain flooded his whole body as blowback hit him hard and he fell to the ground. Hannah next to him. Unmoving. What happened? What the hell happened? He just wanted to see if Hannah was ok, but his body refused to move. He was completely turned into stone, only able to hear his own frantic breathing. He saw the sky, now colored in dark pink and orange tones, it was like it broke through. Everything spun around him. His shoulder hurt like hell.

He didn't know how long he layed there, but soon he heard voices and many, many, many footsteps. He felt himself being lifted to his shaky legs again. But he didn't saw, didn't understand anything. It was like his eyes were captured by the sky. Not being able to look away until his whole consciousness was completely devoured by it.


	9. The Truth

The first thing Alex could hear was the low rumbling of an engine. Everything was dark, even after he opened his eyes. His head layed on something warm. He shifted lightly in his position, and with that he realized the immense pain that came back right above his chest. What had happened? Where was he? A grown escaped his mouth as he moved his shoulder a bit – The source of all pain. 

But then something hot patted the side of his face. A hand? 

“The bullet went right through ya shoulder. Don’t worry, ya will survive that, kiddo”

With that said, Alex almost jumped up from his laying position and twirled his head. 

“Wha- Wha- What the hell?!”, Alex shouted. 

But soon enough he regretted that action and moaned in pain – The pain from his shoulder killed him. 

“Easy now. Or ya want these stitches open up again? It just stopped bleeding”, Jacob said, giving him a side glance as he drove the pickup. 

It was already night time. The only light source were the headlights from the fast-moving vehicle. The street was dark and the ground uneven. And Alex wondered – Did he just sleep with his head on Jacobs lap? 

“What the hell happened?”, Alex repeated – But now a bit hoarse and very slowly. Processing everything right now.

“Yer did well, boy. We could finally recapture the girl that got away. That fucking nuisance is now in Eden’s Gates care again. And all of that because of you. Joseph will freak out, if he gets the news”

Alex stared at Jacob like he couldn’t understand. Like he’d suddenly spoken another language. 

“I did what…?”

“Don’t play dumb. Ya should’ve known. What? Did you really thought, that I would just leave you there for hours without watching you? Without any intention? Maybe you aren’t that smart as I’d thought after all. Maybe it was better this, that you had no clue at all. You only would’ve messed everything up. So my plan worked out very well. Not even the poor girl knew that you were a bait for her”, Jacob chuckled lightly, “This was the easiest way to catch someone in her caliber. A hunter. I knew you two had something for each other so I just had to cast the line and … wait. It almost amused me to see you two clinging at each other for farewell goodbye”

Jacob took one hand off the steering wheel and patted Alex’ knee lightly. He smiled - he fucking smiled like it was the best day ever. Alex couldn’t even breath as he touched his knee. Disgust, disgust, disgusting. This ugly feeling crept up inside of him, filling up every tiny space of his body. But he didn’t quite know if it was because of the man beside him – Or for himself. 

“I’m sorry for ya shoulder, though”, Jacob said then and it almost sounded honestly – Like he was even capable of feeling sorry for other human beings. Alex doubted that. “But I couldn’t aim her without shooting through you first. Don’t worry, aimed for ya shoulder on purpose. It’ll heal just fine, you’ll see. If yer dead, you aren’t of any use for me, you know?”

Alex saw the inside of the car spinning around. Faster and faster. If this here wasn’t a dream, then- Then-

Without thinking he pushed the car door open and threw himself out of the driving vehicle. Right into the dark of the night. 

The encounter with the ground was hard. But not as hard as he’d expected. He felt grass and lots of wet leaves under him as he shifted in pain. 

A high squeak of the pickups’ brake echoed through the dark. A car door slammed shut. And then the sound of fast footsteps on muddy wet ground. They came to a stop as Jacob seemed to realize that Alex didn’t intend to escape. Not at all. 

Slowly the other man came closer. Shortly after Alex felt himself being lifted up a bit. His head now resting in Jacobs lap, Alex opened his eyes and stared up in the face of his captor. Funny, he thought, so Jacob was capable of vulnerability in the end. He’d always wondered if there was something behind that stone-cold expression of his. Was there just bottomless darkness or was there a real human underneath somehow? Alex’ silent question had been answered now.

“What’re yer up to, huh? Suicide? You really that stupid to think you’ll die by something like this?”, Jacob asked, his voice low but in concern.

Alex breathed out through his nose. A shaky laugh escaped him.

“I don’t know”, he muttered.

They remained in silence for a while. Fresh wind blowed past them, rustling the freshly fallen leaves on the dark street.

“I think I wanna die”, Alex said then, his voice hoarse and tired, “I can’t do this any longer. I – I just can’t”

Suddenly he felt all the exhaustion and helplessness and frustration dwell up inside of him. With that he started to sob. He couldn’t hold it back any longer. There wasn’t any life force left in him. He felt hollowed out, like a shell of his former self. 

Jacob watched him silently as his tears forced their way out and ran down his cheeks. 

“Please kill me”, Alex began to plead under his constant sobbing – Again and again, “Please kill me”

He repeated that over and over again, until his tears dried and his voice began to crack. But Jacob didn’t move. He just watched him with this undefinable expression in his face. Like he’d really given it a thought.

But as Alex sobbing slowly died out, Jacob began to move and started lifting him upwards. Holding Alex close to his chest. Alex felt the other mans arms on his back. Comforting warmth spread out on his body as he leaned against his chest. Jacob put his chin on the top of his head as the smaller man began to relax under the touch. 

“Just what am I gonna do with you, huh”, Jacob mumbled, lost in thought. 

Alex could hear his chest rumbling as the man spoke. It was strange to be so close to him. To be hugged by him at all. Everything felt so odd and unfamiliar. The action itself was something he’d never expected from Jacob. 

Alex didn’t know when it happened but his eyes shut. He was too exhausted and too broken to refuse this hug. And he definitely didn’t care anymore. He just wanted all the pain and sorrow to be over. 

Later Alex thought that he'd imagined it, but before they’d parted after this seemingly endless moment, it had felt like a small kiss were placed in his hair.


	10. Your hatred will be the death of you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the kudos, guys! I'm kinda glad that the fic isn't a complete mess and that there are people out there who actually like it, haha. Sooo here's another chapter, I hope you like it :^)

Alex didn’t remember going to bed – Or even getting there. Everything after the car incident seemed odd and blurry. It was hard thinking about it, like trying to remember a dream. But the feeling that took over, after Jacob had told him the truth about the recapture – It was still there, inside him, picking and nibbing at his mind. He felt immense pain. The pain of his guilt, how he had directly leaded Jacob to Hannah. He didn’t know about it as it happened, but, that was his only excuse. And a damn poor one. He remembered Jacobs face after that. How proud he was of him. Alex felt betrayed of himself as immediately a glimpse of pride ran through his body as he thought about it. It left with a warm shiver. But a moment later the guilt came back again. The whole morning went on like that. Just like a big fucking mood-rollercoaster in his mind. Switching minutely from guilt to pride and back. Again, again, again. He felt like he was going insane. But that would mean that he had been any kind of sane before – He wasn’t even himself anymore. The person he was before the forest had been shattered and now he felt like an empty shell. Only a few fragments of his former self had remained. But it was only a matter of time until Jacob found them and ripped them apart. 

He barely touched the food in front of him. But it wasn’t only because of the mess in his head – During breakfast time a bunch of smiling Eden’s Gate people had come over to him and had clapped him on his shoulders, had given him a thumbs up, complimented him and had given him a hell of a lot of praise for what he’d done. So, Jacob had spread the news already, great, just fucking great, he thought with a frown. He’d said nothing to them, just listened and nodded sometimes, while everything inside of him pulled together. His heart ached. He hated it. He hated them. He just wanted to crawl in his bed and never coming out again. But Funny-Beard had waited for him in the hallway leaded him right into the infirmary. Jacobs orders. Alex followed him silently. But not very fast - his hip and his right knee didn’t feel right since he’d jumped out of the car. So he kinda limped down the hallway. The guard had noticed, but had only risen his eyebrows – clearly annoyed. But he didn’t call him Sinner today. Maybe on purpose?

“Alex”, Amelia greeted him with a smile, “I’m so glad to see you! After what I’ve heard I thought it would be far worse. How are you?”

“I'm okay”, Alex answered and sat down.

Amelia came closer and began to examine his body. He took the far too big shirt off (Since when did he had it on anyways? Where did it even come from?). 

“A few light bruises … and scratches. Nothing seems too damaged. Thank God. Does it hurt when I do this? No? And how about – Ah – What’s under the bandages?”, she asked.

“Didn’t he tell you already?”, he said instead, pissed, “Since you two seem to fucking love chatting about me”

“I didn’t see him today”, she bit back, almost just as pissed as him, “Don’t know where he went”

But she wasn’t just pissed. There was something else entirely – Alex had hit a sensitive spot in her. Something was up. There were tears in her eyes. She blinked them quickly away, but it was too late – Alex had seen.

“Amelia - Are you okay?”

She stared at him with wide eyes. Then her smile came back. No, she wasn’t, she definitely wasn’t okay. But as ever – Amelia didn’t want to tell him. 

“Of course”, she said then, but neither of them believed that lie. 

Then she cleared her throat and started to fiddle off the bandage around Alex’ shoulder. Alex groaned silently as she removed it where the surface sticked wetly on the wound. 

“A bullet wound?”, she wondered out of the sudden, “Wait, Alex – What exactly happened yesterday? No one told me about you getting shot. Not at all!”

Alex looked away quickly. His expression darkened immediately. Amelia watched him in concern, then examined the wound again. 

“Wait – Wait, wait, wait, I know these stitches when I see them. Only one person on this whole world could mess up something like this so bad. You were with Jacob yesterday?”

“I thought you knew”

“I didn’t, obviously. I was told that you were the one to recapture some intruder – And that you've got injured. So, what happened yesterday? How did you get shot? You should be glad, Alex. If this weren’t stitched up, you would have far bigger problems than the few bruises and scratches you have now”

Alex eyes shot upwards. He stared at her in disbelief and then – laughed bitterly. 

“What is it? Do you really hate him that much? That much, that you can’t stand the fact that he helped you?”

“Oh yes. Yes! I hate him! I fucking hate him exactly that much, that’s right!”

Amelia stiffened in her position.

“But … why?”

Alex shook his head rapidly as he stood up again.

“Oh, I dunno, maybe, maybe because he captured me? Put me in a cage and let me starve for days? That he did all that horrible things to break me while fucking smiling at me?! But no – Actually, that wasn’t enough, I guess. You wanna know what happened to me yesterday when I was shot? Fine, I’ll tell you! He used me! Like he always does! He used me as a bait to capture my friend! To get to Hannah – He fucking shot through me to injury her! So how you like that, Amelia? Is he still that good and rightful man to you? The hero in shining armor? Wake up, he isn’t. He’s nothing but a monster”, he scoffed.

He felt the burning tears in his eyes, but he didn’t care. His anger growled inside of him. Amelia sat there. And for a long time there was just silence between them. It was almost too heavy to bear. She looked at him as if she understood him, at least a bit in her heart. But above of all – He saw pity. 

“I know you are hurt, Alex”, she said then, her voice silent, “And that Jacob causes that. I know that he can be cruel sometimes, in his judgement and his actions. But I have to say, you still don’t know him really well. He is far from inhuman if you ask me. But a man formed by his past. I know, you don’t want to hear this, but everything he does is for the sake of Eden’s Gate – To protect us. You are so blinded by your hatred that you can’t see the good sides in him. He saved your life, you know? Even if the stitches are shitty as hell. If he really were a monster like you say he is, he would have left you out there to die - because you served your purpose. But he cares about you. About all of his people”

“He said he can’t kill me, isn’t allowed to - so it’s not about him that he saved me. I’m quite sure he wants me dead. And I’m not one of you, okay? I – I don’t even belong here, I-”

His voice became strained, so he stopped talking. He choked on a cry, struggled to held it down. 

“Do you want to know why I’m here?”, Amelia said, “What he’s done for me in the past? I don’t like talking so much about myself but - Maybe you’ll understand me a bit better if you knew my story. Why I protect him so much”

“Because you fuck him”, he said then, coldly, “He probably fucked you senseless, that’s why”

Her eyes widened in shock. Suddenly – Amelia slapped him hard. Tears dwelled in her eyes. 

“Your hatred will be the death of you someday”, she spoke as coldly as him, “Don’t say I didn’t warn you, Alex”

With that Amelia turned around and walked to her desk – Fiddled angrily in some files lying around. Alex wanted to say something, to apologize at least, but he couldn’t bring himself to do it. So he just left her silently.

Funny-Beard stood by the door, as Alex walked out of the infirmary. He grinned mockingly like he’d heard everything of the conversation. 

“What is it?”, Alex asked with an angry frown in his expression.

“Your cheek’s still red”, he said and laughed.

“Oh common”, Alex murmured and walked past him.

But he didn’t come far, as the guard shouted after him.

“Hey, it’s this way, idiot!”, Funny-Beard pointed in the other direction of the hallway, “Jacob’s got some work for you”

Alex sighed and turned around again. Fucking Jacob, he thought angrily, I don’t even wanna know what he’s up to today. He followed the guard down the stairs.


End file.
